The actual 80/20 rule, also called the Pareto Precept, is a saying that asserts 80% of outcomes come from 20% of all causes. You should use it to arrange your to-do record, amongst different issues. However to many younger males, 80/20 means one thing very completely different.
Younger males aren’t alright. Masculinity is rising extra poisonous by the day. On-line incel communities are rising, and probably the most receptive viewers to toxic concepts about gender appears to be kids. This week’s column is not going to be enjoyable: I am explaining one of many guiding ideas of the incel motion, and discussing a TikToker dedicated to altering her crimson tablet son’s thoughts. And I can not discuss poisonous masculinity with out mentioning Elon Musk!
Spray some deodorizer and let’s soar into the dank, upsetting world of incel beliefs.
What’s the 80/20 rule?
The Netflix sequence Adolescence, is presently the buzziest present on streaming, a harrowing exploration of the interior world of an indignant younger boy accused of murdering certainly one of his classmates, a lady who spurned him. One of many teenage characters mentions the “80/20 rule” as a approach of explaining the incel/crimson tablet tradition that is central to the homicide plot. Put merely, the 80/20 rule is an axiom that states 80% of girls are interested in solely 20% of males, and understanding the pervasiveness of this perception is important to understanding on-line misogyny.
Totally different communities of poisonous dudes consider completely different bizarre issues—many “looksmaxxers” suppose breaking your personal facial bones could make you extra engaging; crimson tablet dudes consider males must psychologically manipulate girls into liking them—however the 80/20 rule is sort of universally accepted.
The concept appears to have originated in a publish on Medium that was written 10 years in the past. Taken by itself phrases, the article is a reasonably fascinating, although methodologically flawed, have a look at the distribution of “likes” on courting web site Tinder. Incel varieties ignored the issues with the analysis, ignored the context (it’s solely about Tinder likes), and accepted the 80/20 Rule as a hard-to-swallow reality that explains how girls relate to males. Regardless that the Medium publish concludes that the majority males who wish to meet girls can be “higher off simply going to a bar or becoming a member of some coed leisure sports activities group” than utilizing Tinder, incels determined the 80/20 rule meant one thing like “all girls are shallow,” and/or “it is not my fault that no girl desires to spend time with me.”
For 10 years, incels and the incel-adjacent have expanded on the speculation and repeated it to one another so many occasions that it’s not often questioned in these areas. If anybody you are speaking to mentions the 80/20 rule in an affirmative context, you already know you’re speaking to somebody who has a selected set of (incorrect) beliefs, and who doesn’t have a big sufficient social circle to check what they learn on the web to the way in which folks act in actual life. However is there something you are able to do about it? Possibly.
Viral video of the week: De-pilling a crimson tablet son
The creator of on this week’s viral video, IAmRchlPrkr, is a mom attempting to deprogram her teenage son. He has accepted some beliefs of the “crimson tablet” group, a department of incels, and he or she is not into it.
She first noticed the issue when her little one informed her “all girls are gold-diggers.” There’s loads happening with that phrase. Regardless of bristling and yelling “not all males!” when anybody generalizes their very own gender, the poisonous male group is dominated by the concept girls are all the identical: a Borg-like collective searching for probably the most engaging 20% of males, or the lads with probably the most gold to dig.
This is not new. In her 1998 e book Intercourse, Andrea Dworkin may have been describing the incels of 2025 when she wrote, “the primary tenet of male supremacist ideology is that males have a self and that ladies should, by definition, lack it.” The distinction is how sexist concepts that had been as soon as relegated to obscure corners of society have infiltrated the mainstream to the extent that literal kids are repeating them to their moms. (As with most of societal ills, we will thank the web for that.)
Possibly this TikToker mother has the best strategy to returning some sanity: When her son tells her, “all girls are gold-diggers,” she responds with “Which girls?” and “identify one girl who’s a gold-digger.” In fact he cannot. As a result of the incel philosophy falls aside within the face of precise relationships with actual people.
What’s “severe hat Soyjack?”
A becoming response to me quoting Andrew Dworkin in an earnest publish about on-line masculinity is severe hat Soyjak:

Credit score: SoyGemVault – Deviant Artwork
Created by DevianArt consumer SoyGemArt, Critical Hat is a Wojak posted to touch upon people who find themselves, properly, too severe on-line.
(Should you’re asking “what’s a wojak?” I’ve beforehand lined the topic.)
Elon musk gamer drama continues
Talking of poisonous males: Elon Musk! Should you’re an grownup, you in all probability know Musk greatest because the CEO of an electrical automotive firm or as a devoted public servant with artistic concepts about how forks work. However children know a distinct Elon Musk: Gamer Elon. Gamer Elon is seen as the final word sweat, and Gamer Elon not too long ago combined it up on X with the official account of online game Murderer’s Creed and acquired roasted like a Costco hen.
What do you suppose to this point?
The net dust-up began when ex-game developer @grummz made a publish about streamer Hasan Piker, who he labeled a terrorist (as a result of that’s what you do on X whenever you disagree with somebody about public coverage):
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This led Musk, who’s a grown grownup, to publish:
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After which:
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At this level, the official account of the online game on the heart of the struggle Murderer’s Creed: Shadows introduced gasoline to the flame warfare.
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The Murderer’s Creed publish was seen over 52 million occasions. It references the all-but-confirmed rumor that Elon Musk, a grown grownup with a significant place of energy inside the US authorities, pays somebody so avid gamers will suppose he’s actually good at Path of Exile 2, a online game the place you fake to be an elf.
What does “come eat lobster with a monster” imply?
I do not wish to go away you with all these poisonous males, so let’s finish with a humorous meme.
Again in 2020, then-Twitter consumer @blanketm9 modified the world ceaselessly once they tweeted:
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Their publish lay dormant till 2023, when a consumer (whose unique publish and identify has been misplaced to historical past) added the context of a textual content dialog, full with a “straight man.”

Credit score: iFunny
Issues had been quiet for a pair years, then, for causes unknown, the meme began actually taking off this month. I suppose the time is correct for posts like these:
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